Foster Care Adoption Stories

What Caused You To Want To Become An Adoptive Family? My husband and I had been married 15 years without being able to carry a full term pregnancy. We had several miscarriages. We submitted to fertility treatments but it was very stressful and it was overwhelming. We decided to adopt through foster care because we knew there was a need for loving homes.

How Long Have You Been Involved in Foster Care/Adoption and How Has it Affected Your Immediate Family? We became proud foster parents in March 2010 and the support we’ve been given from our family and friends has been incredible. Fostering definitely is a family effort! Our immediate family has been positively impacted by the unconditional love these children give. Take my parents for example; before the kids came, my mom was in a mild depression. Having the children around, she doesn’t have time to be sad. The entire day is about the kids. With my dad, its the same thing.  He comes only to see the kids. He plays with them, teaches important values like how to resolve conflict between each other, or how to fix bikes. But for my dad, it was his health that was affected the most as he had a reason to get better and get out of the hospital. The kids were his motivation.

What Did You Extended Family (parents, siblings, in-laws) Think About Your Decision To Foster/Adopt? My family was supportive from the very beginning. Jose’s family on the other hand was not as supportive, it is a cultural taboo. Somehow they thought that these children are damaged goods and that the neglect and abuse they experienced somehow made them bad. None the less, once they met our children and got to know them better, they can’t help but to fall in love with them. Today, we have Jose’s family complete support.

To What Extent Has Your Families Embraced This Work? Our families have embraced foster care with open arms and a willing heart. The most difficult part is letting go when the children return to their biological families. However, we all have made an effort to build good lasting relationships with them. In many cases we have gone on vacations together and it’s wonderful to see the bio families be healthy and healed and to be in the kids lives after they go home makes it easier to let them go. Our family also helps out with whatever is needed; an underwear drive or back to school supplies or just clothes. Even our friends get in on the action. One word of encouragement for these kids can make a world of difference. Our extended family and friends help us provide our children with a positive and supportive environment.

You’re Constantly Giving of Yourselves. To Whom Do You Look for Inspiration? We get our inspiration from the children themselves. We admire how innocent, grateful and full of love they are! I love it when they hug and kiss me to death for no reason or when they giggle and play. I feel like we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. This was our calling!  And how grateful I am to have a husband who supports me and gives so much of himself as well.

What One Thing Would You Like Prospective Foster/Adoptive Families to Know? Get to  know your Family Specialist. They are your lifeline! They will keep you sane and they will keep you within your boundaries. Also, get as much education as you possibly can. Take as much training as possible even if you already meet your required training hours. Make an educated decision, and if you do decide to foster/adopt, do it with love in your heart.Leave the judgment to the professional and look at each biological parent as a good individual who has made bad choices. Love the children unconditionally but also seek parenting classes like Triple P because the way you parent children with neglect or abuse is different then a “normal” child.  Make each day an adventure!! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do.